My favourite records are essentially moments captured, a photograph of an artist at a moment in time. Some shots are destined to be stuck to your fridge, to become a part of your everyday like a hummed Beatles melody. Others will be enlarged, framed and hung in galleries. You might only need to look at it once before you walk away.
For a long time my favourite snapshot was Nirvana's third album, In Utero. Recorded by Steve Albini, it sounds and feels like the world's biggest rock band exploding in a big room. It's savage, raw and devastating. The end of something.
Albini demanded the band record in an isolated location to keep Kurt Cobain clean, free from heroin, to keep him alive. He stuck microphones all over the room on the walls and floors, to capture as much of the live sound as possible. Then he got out of the way. Didn't say much.
The end product is the sound of a poet and his band literally about to self-destruct. Did Albini know what was coming? In a way, probably. The band had been destroying their instruments onstage for years. It was a statement none of them had been able to articulate in interviews ("It's a good reason not to do encores..."), but it was always going to be a matter of time. Music, then destruction. Art imitates life imitates art.
The opening chord resounds like a stoned shotgun, and the scene is set.
The lyrics:
I'm bored and old
Out of the sky, into the dirt
I lie in the soil and fertilise mushrooms
Look on the bright side is suicide
Obituary birthday
You can't fire me because I quit
Throw me in the fire
I am weak
Use just once and destroy
I did not want what I have got
What is wrong with me?
Throw down your umbilical noose
Married, buried...
It was only ever going to be a matter of time. Albini captured the moment, moments before the end. Took a good look at the scene before him, lifted the SLR to his face, squinted one eye and took the shot.
It's a devastating image because it is an authentic one. It's honest.
Enlarge it. Hang it. Look at it once, then walk away. You will never forget it.
For a long time my favourite snapshot was Nirvana's third album, In Utero. Recorded by Steve Albini, it sounds and feels like the world's biggest rock band exploding in a big room. It's savage, raw and devastating. The end of something.
Albini demanded the band record in an isolated location to keep Kurt Cobain clean, free from heroin, to keep him alive. He stuck microphones all over the room on the walls and floors, to capture as much of the live sound as possible. Then he got out of the way. Didn't say much.
The end product is the sound of a poet and his band literally about to self-destruct. Did Albini know what was coming? In a way, probably. The band had been destroying their instruments onstage for years. It was a statement none of them had been able to articulate in interviews ("It's a good reason not to do encores..."), but it was always going to be a matter of time. Music, then destruction. Art imitates life imitates art.
The opening chord resounds like a stoned shotgun, and the scene is set.
The lyrics:
I'm bored and old
Out of the sky, into the dirt
I lie in the soil and fertilise mushrooms
Look on the bright side is suicide
Obituary birthday
You can't fire me because I quit
Throw me in the fire
I am weak
Use just once and destroy
I did not want what I have got
What is wrong with me?
Throw down your umbilical noose
Married, buried...
It was only ever going to be a matter of time. Albini captured the moment, moments before the end. Took a good look at the scene before him, lifted the SLR to his face, squinted one eye and took the shot.
It's a devastating image because it is an authentic one. It's honest.
Enlarge it. Hang it. Look at it once, then walk away. You will never forget it.
I've been thinking about Nirvana, about the unfinished symphony that is Kurt Cobain, and how it all relates to Joseph Campbell's Hero's Journey.
You know The Hero's Journey?
Our hero starts out in their everyday Known World. There is a Call To Adventure and our hero Refuses The Call. They meet a Mentor, then they choose to Cross The Threshold and head into The Unknown World. Tough times come, they discover their true Allies And Enemies, then they approach the dark mysteries of The Inmost Cave and endure the ultimate Ordeal: To be or not to be...
There are four more steps in Campbell's Hero's Journey, but this is where Cobain's journey ends. Killed by his own hand in his Inmost Cave, just like 3000 Australians last year. Most of whom were aged 15-44. Most of whom were men. Antipodean Cobains, forever stuck partway through the Hero's Journey. Partly-formed heroes.
Campbell would say that the hero must next Seize The Sword, take The Road Back, endure a kind of Resurrection and ultimately Return With The Elixir Of Healing, but this is where all our Aussie Cobains journey end. They seize and fall on the sword which was meant for slaying a dragon.
I'm inspired by anyone who has approached their Inmost Cave, faced the Ordeal, Seized The Sword and found their way back into the light. It's hard. You are a Hero.
You know The Hero's Journey?
Our hero starts out in their everyday Known World. There is a Call To Adventure and our hero Refuses The Call. They meet a Mentor, then they choose to Cross The Threshold and head into The Unknown World. Tough times come, they discover their true Allies And Enemies, then they approach the dark mysteries of The Inmost Cave and endure the ultimate Ordeal: To be or not to be...
There are four more steps in Campbell's Hero's Journey, but this is where Cobain's journey ends. Killed by his own hand in his Inmost Cave, just like 3000 Australians last year. Most of whom were aged 15-44. Most of whom were men. Antipodean Cobains, forever stuck partway through the Hero's Journey. Partly-formed heroes.
Campbell would say that the hero must next Seize The Sword, take The Road Back, endure a kind of Resurrection and ultimately Return With The Elixir Of Healing, but this is where all our Aussie Cobains journey end. They seize and fall on the sword which was meant for slaying a dragon.
I'm inspired by anyone who has approached their Inmost Cave, faced the Ordeal, Seized The Sword and found their way back into the light. It's hard. You are a Hero.
Some days are like windows. They might look clear, but you can't get through them. You have to go backwards, down the hall, around the corner and out the door to get to the thing you had thought was within reach.
A sparrow found her way into our bathroom today, her wings batting and swiping against the window. It was quite an ordeal to shepherd her in the right direction - backwards - which always feels like precisely the wrong direction for sparrows and humans alike.
The funny little thing appeared in the back doorway a few minutes later for another look, before fluttering off. I walked back down the hall to return to writing on my smartphone, fingertips tapping against the glass again and again.
A sparrow found her way into our bathroom today, her wings batting and swiping against the window. It was quite an ordeal to shepherd her in the right direction - backwards - which always feels like precisely the wrong direction for sparrows and humans alike.
The funny little thing appeared in the back doorway a few minutes later for another look, before fluttering off. I walked back down the hall to return to writing on my smartphone, fingertips tapping against the glass again and again.
Discovered / Settled / Invaded
Mentored / Rescued / Groomed
Ideas become words become stories become identities. Stay awake.
Mentored / Rescued / Groomed
Ideas become words become stories become identities. Stay awake.
I'm anxious. It's been happening a bit lately. The more I reflect on it, the more I wonder if I may well have been living with this for a long time.
So I focus on my breathing, look into the distance, watch clouds washing over the mountain. That kinda thing. It subdues, whatever It is, and I get on with my day. Do it again in half an hour.
It's tiring. I'm tired. And it means I don't have much energy for other people. This is tricky because my life is full of those. I have three in my house and a whole bunch beyond.
I need to get up early each day and spend time with myself. It's the law. If I don't, I'm a hungry, stupid dog without a leash.
I didn't get up early today. So I focus on my breathing, look into the distance, watch the clouds washing over the mountain.
Just noticed the house across the road is playing Alanis Morrisette. You live, you learn. Amen.
So I focus on my breathing, look into the distance, watch clouds washing over the mountain. That kinda thing. It subdues, whatever It is, and I get on with my day. Do it again in half an hour.
It's tiring. I'm tired. And it means I don't have much energy for other people. This is tricky because my life is full of those. I have three in my house and a whole bunch beyond.
I need to get up early each day and spend time with myself. It's the law. If I don't, I'm a hungry, stupid dog without a leash.
I didn't get up early today. So I focus on my breathing, look into the distance, watch the clouds washing over the mountain.
Just noticed the house across the road is playing Alanis Morrisette. You live, you learn. Amen.
I spent my twenties trying to find My Place by following in the footsteps of other artists whose work I admired. Turns out that their footsteps just led to their feet, clad in shoes I could not fill. Didn't stop me trying to steal their boots.
It was lonely. I felt like I was standing outside a house of glass watching in. No doors, either. No directions. Just an In Crowd whose happiness seemed to be founded on the exclusion of others.
Turns out the reason I couldn't follow others to My Place was because I was already there. And I sure as hell didn't want to stay there. So I took a step away from it. I wrote another song, booked another show, chatted with other artists, went internetting for grants and events and opportunities. You'll discover how it goes, if you don't know it already.
I had very little idea what I was doing, but I knew why I was doing it. It's the same today.
Journey we more into the mystery.
It was lonely. I felt like I was standing outside a house of glass watching in. No doors, either. No directions. Just an In Crowd whose happiness seemed to be founded on the exclusion of others.
Turns out the reason I couldn't follow others to My Place was because I was already there. And I sure as hell didn't want to stay there. So I took a step away from it. I wrote another song, booked another show, chatted with other artists, went internetting for grants and events and opportunities. You'll discover how it goes, if you don't know it already.
I had very little idea what I was doing, but I knew why I was doing it. It's the same today.
Journey we more into the mystery.
When my mind gets bored, it goes for a walk. A frickin' SPACE WALK! That's when the magic happens.
It's the Beige Laminex grown-ups and their enthusiastic renovation conversations. Works every time. I don't even pretend to listen any more, I just check out. Sometimes I leave physically, too. Walking is a great way to give the mind a runaround. Go on. Talk about your house some more so I can have another out-of-body experience. Or food. Talk about food and lifestyle. Sweet dissociation, come take me.
When I'm bored, I'm making things. Things more important than carpet. More important than carpet, baby
It's the Beige Laminex grown-ups and their enthusiastic renovation conversations. Works every time. I don't even pretend to listen any more, I just check out. Sometimes I leave physically, too. Walking is a great way to give the mind a runaround. Go on. Talk about your house some more so I can have another out-of-body experience. Or food. Talk about food and lifestyle. Sweet dissociation, come take me.
When I'm bored, I'm making things. Things more important than carpet. More important than carpet, baby
You oughtta watch Love On The Spectrum. It's beautiful.
One guy explains his experience of living with Autism Spectrum Disorder, saying "it means I focus really well on one thing and don't get distracted by other things." Doesn't sound like a disorder when he puts it like that. Similarly, I've heard Attention Deficit redefined as Attention Difference. There's a TED Talk about it (but don't let that put you off).
I'm good with words, but that means I can be cruel with words. I'm a thinker, but that means I can over-think (and under-do). I'm a sensitive listener, but that means I can inherit other people's pain.
As for my greatest weakness, it's all there in my music. For those with ears to hear.
One guy explains his experience of living with Autism Spectrum Disorder, saying "it means I focus really well on one thing and don't get distracted by other things." Doesn't sound like a disorder when he puts it like that. Similarly, I've heard Attention Deficit redefined as Attention Difference. There's a TED Talk about it (but don't let that put you off).
I'm good with words, but that means I can be cruel with words. I'm a thinker, but that means I can over-think (and under-do). I'm a sensitive listener, but that means I can inherit other people's pain.
As for my greatest weakness, it's all there in my music. For those with ears to hear.
People love to talk about thinking outside The Square, but The Square is far more complicated than they think.
I think the idea of thinking outside the square may be an idea that could only be conceived by someone comfortably within The Square, the same kinds of folk who live in the city, who own Four Wheel Drives and complain about how small parking spaces are these days. (OK. Let's think outside the limitations of this high rise car park... Let's make the parking spaces... bigger!)
I love The Square of Normal. Normal is so interesting to me. It's weird, sometimes unsettlingly so. Your Normal is different to mine, but it's still real. And the more I understand my Normal, the more receptive I am to yours. And everyone else. Even the Normal of Urban Four Wheel Drivers. But all this will pass.
Normal doesn't last long...
I think the idea of thinking outside the square may be an idea that could only be conceived by someone comfortably within The Square, the same kinds of folk who live in the city, who own Four Wheel Drives and complain about how small parking spaces are these days. (OK. Let's think outside the limitations of this high rise car park... Let's make the parking spaces... bigger!)
I love The Square of Normal. Normal is so interesting to me. It's weird, sometimes unsettlingly so. Your Normal is different to mine, but it's still real. And the more I understand my Normal, the more receptive I am to yours. And everyone else. Even the Normal of Urban Four Wheel Drivers. But all this will pass.
Normal doesn't last long...
You will need to leave your hometown.
You might be pushed out by lack of opportunities, starvation, boredom or bogan hostility, or you might be pulled out by something shiny on that distant hill. Either way, you've got to get out. You might go back. You probably will, some day far away, and it will be really, really weird. Everything will be either shrunken or stuck in a moment. You might not go back. But you'll forever carry some of that place with you, like dirt under your nails. Like Sia in Hollywood, like Courtney Barnett on The Late Show or like Jason Donovan on some London toilet floor...
Actually, the first record I ever bought was Jason Donovan's Ten Good Reasons. Bought it on cassette from a Hobart record store in 1988. Yesterday, flicking through the vinyl in a Hobart second-hand store, Jason's eyes were suddenly staring back at me. Mint condition. I thought about it.
Leave your hometown.
You might be pushed out by lack of opportunities, starvation, boredom or bogan hostility, or you might be pulled out by something shiny on that distant hill. Either way, you've got to get out. You might go back. You probably will, some day far away, and it will be really, really weird. Everything will be either shrunken or stuck in a moment. You might not go back. But you'll forever carry some of that place with you, like dirt under your nails. Like Sia in Hollywood, like Courtney Barnett on The Late Show or like Jason Donovan on some London toilet floor...
Actually, the first record I ever bought was Jason Donovan's Ten Good Reasons. Bought it on cassette from a Hobart record store in 1988. Yesterday, flicking through the vinyl in a Hobart second-hand store, Jason's eyes were suddenly staring back at me. Mint condition. I thought about it.
Leave your hometown.
