DANIEL J TOWNSEND
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Learning to disappear

27/5/2015

 
I think about disappearing at least once a day.

Which is not to say I am daily considering doing myself in. Not at all. I just think about how amazing it is that we all disappear. I will disappear. Maybe today, maybe in fifty years.

There was a moment for me many years back, just like there probably was for you, when disappearing became a Thing: I had a friend, then I got a phone call, and it became apparent that I didn't have friend any more. Just like that.

I know it's not news. 

It's been happening everywhere forever, but that doesn't make it any less magical to me. In the same way as parents-to-be speak about childbirth as if it's never been done, I speak about disappearing as if it is a brand new trick. But just because I know seven billion babies have been born this century doesn't mean I know how to hold my own newborn for the first time, and just because I know we all disappear doesn't mean I have any idea how to do it.

I just find it so hard to believe. I'm here. One day I won't be.

I wonder how differently I would live if I really believed in my impending disappearance. Seems to me people either go nuts or go Gandhi with this kind of knowledge. Or they just distract themselves in one of a million ways.

Today I chose distraction. But I'm one day closer regardless.
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  • About
  • Music
    • Broken Voices and The Eyes of Men (2021)
    • MIdland Highway: The Musical (2020)
    • Songs From The Great Pause (2020)
    • A Tale of Two Cities (2018)
    • World Until Yesterday (2016)
    • Iscariot (2014)
  • Words
    • Podcast
    • The Little Hand Files
    • Faxes to a Young Songwriter >
      • 1-10
      • 11-20
      • 21-30
      • 31-40
      • 41-50
      • 51-60
      • 61-70
      • 71-80
      • 81-90
      • 91-100
      • 101-The End
    • An Old Blog I Found Lying Around
  • House Shows
  • Workshops
  • Store
  • News/Letter